Bring me back your love
by Effie4josh
Summary: Hey all this is my first fan fic, its a PaceyJoey fan fic, set straight after Separation Anxiety and Jack, Jen and Dawson are away for the summer, leaving Pacey and Joey in Capeside. Will their love be rekindled? Or will it fade away? Please Review
1. Judgement Day

Chapter one

"I'm going to miss you Dawson, promise me you will call me the second you get there to let me know you're safe!" Joey whispered, hugging Dawson so tight he could barely breathe. "Ok Joe, now can you please let go before I swallow my tongue" Dawson laughed. "Dawson! Its not funny anything could happen to you, promise me you will" Joey scolded him. "Joey you will be the first person I call, you know that, seriously I will be fine" Dawson reassured Joey as he saw that tears were beginning to fill in her eyes. "So are you excited then?" Joey asked him. " No not at all I get offers to go on film courses in Europe all the time, this really is trivial, to be honest I don't think I will even bother, I am having dinner with Spielberg tomorrow and to be honest I have much more important things to do" Dawson mocked sarcastically. Joey punched him sharp on the arm, "ok Mr wise guy I will take it that you are, I cant believe what an amazing opportunity this gonna be for you, are you nervous?"

Dawson was silent for a moment and took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair like he always did. "Oh Joey I am so nervous its unbelievable I don't think I have ever been this nervous in my entire life and I am petrified I am gonna screw it up" Dawson finished and collapsed backwards on his bed. Joey lay down beside him and mocked "Oh don't be so soft you big girl, you will be fine, they will love you and you'll turn into this big shot director and forget all about me" Joey teased yet Dawson could hear the element of truth in her voice as it quivered a little.

"Of course you will be the first person I phase out, Joey potter the girl from the wrong side of the creek, yes you would completely cramp my style" Joey hit him again and began tickling him, he laughed and yelped in pain. "Ouch, Joey, you hit like a guy you know that?" Dawson laughed. "Yeah and don't you forget it!" Joey laughed and made her way over to the window to leave. " Dawson, I hope you have a brilliant time and I am so happy for you, you really deserve this and I think you are gonna be great" Joey smiled, and her throat tightened she blinked back the tears. "Thanks Joey, and just so you know, I could never forget you" Dawson said softly and returned her smile.

"Good night Dawson, take care" Joey managed to whisper, whilst fighting back the tears and the huge lump that had stubbornly lodged itself in her throat and with that she climbed out of his window and ran into the night.

_Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings_

_Of the bluebird as she sings._

_The six o'clock alarm would never ring._

_But it rings and I rise,_

_Wipe the sleep out of my eyes._

_My shavin' razor's cold and it stings._

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._

_Oh, what can it mean._

_To a daydream believer_

_And a homecoming queen._

_You once thought of me_

_As a white knight on a steed._

_Now you know how happy I can be._

_Oh, and our good times start and end_

_Without dollar one to spend._

_But how much, baby, do we really need._

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._

_Oh, what can it mean._

_To a daydream believer_

_And a homecoming queen._

_Cheer up, Sleepy Jean._

_Oh, what can it mean._

_To a daydream believer_

_And a homecoming queen._

_Daydream believer –The Monkees_

Joey took her time walking back home, she loved the creek at night it was so peaceful and beautiful, she decided to sit on a bench and take in the spectacular view of the creek at night. She watched the water swirl and dance gracefully below her to the silent melody of the night and she took a deep breath and sighed contently. Despite the year she had had, she was surprisingly at ease and happy.

Her and Pacey were on speaking terms, which made her happy because the thought of not having him in her life made her feel sick to her stomach, so she smiled and nodded whenever she saw him and he politely did too.

It wasn't much but it was a start at least. Her best friend was about to embark on potentially one of the greatest experience of his life and she had graduated from high school with amazing grades and was set to go to college in Boston with jack and Jen in the fall. Life couldn't be better she thought to herself and her mind began wondering, what did this summer at Capeside have in store for her when last summer she had the best summer of her life aboard the true love. Even though she had a wonderful time with Pacey on the true love, she thought to herself, she was thankful that this year it was going to be a quiet summer.

Pacey woke early the next day and jumped in the shower, over breakfast he sat listening to the radio, a song that he and Joey danced to at the prom sang out from the stereo's and he quickly jumped up to turn it off. Even though he and Joey were on speaking terms it was still too painful to be reminded of her and what they had when they were together. It was bad enough that he thought of her first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He didn't need this he said to himself, he didn't need to be reminded of the past, not today. Today he was enrolling on some extra courses at the school which was embarrassing and degrading enough without the constant reminder that he had broke the heart of the girl of his dreams. Even though Pacey had graduated he had only just passed and so he wanted to take some extra courses, as at the end of the programme there is a possibility of a scholarship to college, but Pacey wasn't that hopeful, the very idea made him laugh, no he was taking the courses purely because he did not yet know what he wanted to do in life and in all honesty he wanted to bide his time before making that ever so important step of making a decision.

After breakfast Pacey made his way to school, surprisingly he was early and took a seat at the back of the class. One by one students begun to file in, many were younger than him, the majority were students who had failed a year and had come back to summer school to make up their grades others were those in his situation.

Once all the students had settled a few minutes later the door opened and Pacey's heart sank, "God no, please don't let it be…" he muttered under his breath. "Good morning my name is Mr English" The teacher said and his eyes scanned around the room, his eyes found Pacey who was trying to hide his face in his hands. Mr English laughed to himself. "Pacey Witter, always a pleasure, glad to see you do still remember your way to school" "good morning Mr English" Pacey mumbled, his blood boiled but he kept his mouth shut, 'it's a fresh start' he thought to himself 'don't screw it up now, just take his shit, get your grades and get the hell out of here'.

"Dear me, no witty comments Witter? I am very surprised, maybe breaking up with miss potter has had a positive effect on you, you two should have got together in the tenth grade, then you wouldn't have to be here now" Mr English ridiculed, trying to provoke a response from Pacey but Pacey kept quiet and his head down.


	2. The Last supper

Chapter 2

"Hey Joey, you got to come, it will be out last time together this summer before we go travelling, please please please please" Jen whined down the phone at Joey. "Just think of it as the last supper, you wouldn't have missed that!" Jen joked. "Ok ok, only if Grams promises to make that wonderful soup she does" Joey compromised as she had already told Bessie she would look after Alexander but she was sure Bessie wouldn't mind, it being the last supper and all.

"Joey grams cant hear you she is in the kitchen with jack, oh my god you are such a kiss-ass, I cant believe you're still scared of Grams" Jen laughed. "I'm not scared" Joey lied. " Yeah ok, whatever just be here for six ok? Oh and Jo, Pacey will be coming, I hope that's ok" Jen said feeling totally guilty of inviting him and also a bit uneasy as they were both her friends and not that she was unsympathetic to each of their needs but she was unwilling to take sides and not see on of her friends.

"Jen that's totally cool, honestly it will be nice to see him, I haven't seen him in weeks," Joey said. Ok, so she was only half telling the truth, it would be nice for them all to be together again but she had seen him, a week ago outside the grocery store but she hid so he couldn't see her. She was going to go and say hi but she chickened out at the last minute and hid.

As she hung up the phone she had butterflies at the thought of seeing Pacey, she giggled to herself. How long will it be before that stops she thought, will it ever stop? And with that thought and the nervousness growing inside her she went off to get ready.

Joey arrived about half an hour late because Bessie needed her to get medicine for Alexander who was poorly. Cursing Bessie under her breath she arrived at Jen's and was met by grams at the door. "Josephine potter, you're late dear we have already started dinner without you I am afraid" Grams scolded "Oh I am so sorry grams Bessie needed me to…you see Alexander is…" the fear rose in her. Grams cut her off mid sentence "I am only teasing you my child, everyone is in there waiting for you" Grams chuckled to herself and went off to get dinner ready.

Joey made her way into the dinning room and then it hit her smack hard in the stomach, Pacey, Pacey was there. Her pace, only he wasn't.

"Tardiness will not be acceptable potter" Pacey broke the ice with his best Mr English impression and reached his arms out to hug her. She managed to smile and hugged him back, it was tight and breathtaking but at the same time soft and warm, they both could have stayed hugging all night but Jen and jack bounced in the room and broke their embrace "Ahem, sorry to interrupt you guys but dinner is served" Jack announced in a very lame French accent, Joey and Pacey laughed and made their way over to the table.

"So Pacey how have you been?" Joey asked yet avoided making eye contact she hated his big blue eyes and how they had this magical ability to reach down into her and see how she was feeling. "Good, ok not been up to much" Pacey didn't want to tell the others about the courses he was taking he was already embarrassed and ashamed as it was and he didn't want Joey to think he was more of a loser than he already was. "Good, that's erm, very good to hear" Joey awkwardly replied she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was keeping something from her but she didn't want to press the matter anymore, she no longer had that right.

"So, Jack, Jen which country are you flying to first?" Joey asked thinking it safer and better all around if she changed the topic.

"Well" Jen and jack squealed in unison "we are flying out to Paris first then we are going to Switzerland and Austria….." Jen was cut off by jack "Oh and then on to Italy, tell them about Italy Jen" Jack exploded with excitement. "Thank you jack, well as my trusty sidekick just said we are then going to Italy to see Andie and then we wanted to go to Spain and possibly Greece" Jen concluded.

Chapter 4

After dinner Joey thanked Grams and said goodbye to Jack and Jen and wished them all the best for their trip and went to find Pacey to say goodbye. "Pacey I am going now so I wanted to come say goodbye" She found him outside on the porch. "Okay goodnight Joe" Joey smiled and turned to walk away when Pacey shouted her back. "Joey are you walking home?" Joey nodded; her car was in the garage. "Can I walk you?" Pacey said gently and gave her a smile she knew only too well that made her go weak at the knees. "Sure Pace" Joey smiled, the butterflies had returned.

They walked in silence for a while side by side her arm kept brushing his, it made her shiver. "I'm sorry," they both said in unison and laughed, "you go first" Pacey said.

"I'm sorry pace that I haven't been in touch." Joey whispered. "Me too" Pacey said softly. They walked on a little further in silence and then Joey sat down on a bench and stared out at the creek, a tear slid down her cheeks, the wind was cold and it whipped her face.

"Joey I'm sorry I have just had a lot on mind, I meant to contact you and then last week I saw you hiding outside the grocery store I figured you didn't want to see me" Pacey whispered and brushed the hair off her face, he hated to see her cry. The touch of his warm hand on her face made her tremble." No, I wasn't hiding from you…well I was but its, Pacey its so hard to see you and not be with you and I just freaked out" Joey said embarrassed that she had been caught.

"I know I hurt you Joe and I would give anything to take away that pain, but I'm just not what you need" Pacey mumbled tears now beginning to fill in his eyes. After a few moments of silence Joey whispered "but you're what I want, it didn't hurt me that you left me pace what hurt me was your reasons for doing it. I can't believe you still think you're not good enough for me. Pace you are the sweetest kindest person I know and I know even above Dawson that you would do anything for me. And it kills me to see you in pain and beating yourself up like this. I am a big girl Pacey I know who I want and what I need and I am sorry if you're inferiority complex gets in the way of that" Joey said the anger now rising, he really annoyed her when he doubted himself and couldn't see just how brilliant and clever he was. "Joe, its just you accepted me for who I was and you never was angry with me for messing things up, I was always messing things up Joe, and you still loved me and believed In me regardless" he began shouting he was also getting angry, how could someone so beautiful and intelligent like Joey still believe in him and love him. "And that's a bad thing that I stood by you and saw past those things?" Joey shouted back. "Yes!" Pacey shouted." Why Pace, why tell me please because for the life of me I cant think why that would be a bad thing" "Because I don't believe In me Joe, because I feel worthless when I am around you, fine I can beat up a bully for you and buy you a wall but you just don't get it Joe, if I cant believe in myself then you shouldn't!" Pacey shouted once more, the tears now running quickly down his face. He turned to walk away. "Pacey!" Joey shouted. Pacey stopped and turned around to look at her, her beauty made his heart ache. "Tough, you may not believe in yourself but I do, and whether you like it or not I always will, you can keep beating yourself up and thinking you are a loser, but I never thought of you as a loser, and I never will you may want me to but I cant. I'm sorry but I refuse to" and with that Joey ran away and left Pacey standing on the docks, his heart breaking into a thousand pieces all over again.

_If this is where its at, why do I feel colder?_

_Every hour of every day I just want you closer_

_If I didn't feel a thin I guess it would be easy_

_To turn and walk away and never see you leave me_

_There's nothing wrong but something's happening, I'm falling_

_You give me warm sunshine when I say I like the moon_

_You give me a rainbow when I'm feeling black and blue_

_And I have cold shoulders but I still long for your touch_

_Does that make me sentimental too_

_This isn't really me I try to hide my colours_

_They've been turned to black and white by so many others_

_There's nothing wrong but somethings happening im falling  
_

_You give me warm sunshine when I say I like the moon_

_You give me a rainbow when I'm feeling black and blue_

_And I have cold shoulders but I still long for your touch_

_Does that make me sentimental too_

_I see your smile its alright_

_I wont run away not this time_

_You're too good to lose_

_So I guess that its true_

_I must be sentimental too_

_For you_

_You give me warm sunshine when I say I like the moon_

_You give me a rainbow when I'm feeling black and blue_

_And I have cold shoulders but I still long for your touch_

_Does that make me sentimental too_

_I guess that makes me sentimental too_

_Kim marsh- Sentimental_

Chapter 5

"Hello?" joey answered the phone angrily it was six am in the morning who the hell was calling at this time? "Hey Joey its Jack and Jen" Jack shouted down the phone, Joey heard Jen giggling in the background.

"Oh hi guys, how's it going are you having a good time?" Joey asked the anger now fading it was her two close friends jack and jen calling from Europe so the early phone call was acceptable.

It had been almost two weeks since she seen them and she missed them dearly, while they were off having a good time in Europe she was stuck working at the yacht club for the summer. "Its awesome Joe, you so should have come with us, you would love it here in Italy, Andie sends her love" Jack said. "Oh jack I would give anything to be there right now it is so quiet here I am bored stiff" Joey yawned. She was right Capeside was completely dead, everyone she knew was off on vacations and she was left behind, well her and Pacey but she hadn't seen him since the night before Jack and Jen went away.

"Ok well take care I gotta go, cant wait to see you just think next time we do, we will be freshmans at college" Jack laughed and hung up the phone. Joey hung up the phone and now thanks to Jack and Jen were wide awake so she decided to go for a walk, She got dressed and hurried out of the house as not to wake Bessie Bodey or Alexander up. Joey made her way over to Dawsons' creek, she had really been missing him and went there to be close to him. She sat staring out at the creek watching the sunrise and suddenly felt a presence behind her, she knew instantly who it was.

"Hey Pace" she said softly, without even turning around

"Hey Joe, what are you doing here?" pacey asked but he already knew the answer to his question. "Just thinking, what are you doing here at this hour?" she asked. "Thinking too, I don't know why but my feet just carried me here" pacey said sitting down beside Joey. "I know the feeling" she laughed.

"So what have you been doing lately I came round to your house last week and you weren't there" Joey asked again avoiding eye contact. Pacey laughed a gentle laugh. "That's because I don't live there anymore Joe, my dad kicked me out we got into a fight and he hit me so I hit him back and he kicked me out" Pacey laughed once more only this time it was a fake laugh.

"Pacey I am so sorry do you need a place to stay" Joey said looking worried, she hated Pacey's dad it was his fault he had an inferiority complex, it was his fault pacey didn't believe in himself after his father told him everyday of his life for seventeen years he was a worthless bum.

"No its ok thanks for the offer though, Gretchin is back for the summer so I am staying with her" pacey relplied. "You know its times like these Joe that I really wish I still had the true love" they both sighed happily remembering their amazing summer on the true love, so carefree, so perfect, bliss just the two of them and the ocean.

"Me too, pace" Joey replied

"Well I'll be seeing you Potter, look after yourself" Pacey said turning to leave but Joey grabbed his hand and pulled him down next to her so they were face to face. She could feel his breath on her face, she could see every freckle on his face, she could see how much he loved her in his eyes. She took a deep breath, leant forward and kissed him. A deep, passionate gently kiss. "Goodbye, Pace" she whispered into his neck and got up and walked away. Each of them knowing exactly what that kiss meant, it meant goodbye.

_Last night I tried but I couldn't sleep_

_Thoughts of you were in my head_

_I was lonely and I needed you next to me life was harder since you left_

_I never meant to do you wrong_

_And now all is said and done_

_I hope you wont be gone to long_

_Where do I go, what do I do I cant deny I still feel something_

_And god I wish you could say you feel the same_

_You've broken the bond, I gotta move on_

_But how do I live this lonely feeling, you've gone and Im here alone, I guess its time to grow_

_I try to speak but my words never catch the air like you never knew I was there take me back to the days when you used to care_

_I cant go on the roads too long and now all is said and done cant go forward if my hearts still where im coming from_

_Where do I go, what do I do I cant deny I still feel something_

_And god I wish you could say you feel the same_

_You've broken the bond, I gotta move on_

_But how do I live this lonely feeling, you've gone and Im here alone, I guess its time to grow_

_But in time its over I know I cant control her feelings if she wont return then I guess I'll be a man and move on time to grow_

_Where do I go, what do I do I cant deny I still feel something_

_And god I wish you could say you feel the same_

_You've broken the bond, I gotta move on_

_But how do I live this lonely feeling, you've gone and Im here alone, I guess its time to grow_

_Time to grow and move on live life better than it was before, girl you've gone and im here all alone I guess its time to grow_

_Lemar-Time to grow_


	3. Questions no answers

Chapter 3

"Hey little bro you left early this morning" Gretchin said to pacey whilst unpacking the groceries pacey had bought. "Yeah I just needed to get some air and think you know" pacey told Gretchin whilst getting a drink of orange juice. "Run into a beautiful girl who goes by the name of Joey potter did ya?" Gretchin aksed looking concerned. "How did you know that" Pacey asked dumbfounded "let's just say that I know your pinning after miss potter look far too well, so how are you guys last time I was here you weren't speaking and you were both in absolute agony" Gretchin asked giving her brother a hug. "Well unfortunately only one of us still feels that way" Pacey said sadly "I know you love her Pacey, but if you feel you are doing the right thing then nine out of ten times it is the right thing, did you tell her about those courses you taking?" Gretchin asked hopeful that he had, yet knowing her little brother like she did she knew full well he hadn't. "No, I couldn't bring myself to tell her she would have gotten all hopeful about the two of us getting back together and I just couldn't put her through it all again Gretch, she deserves better than that" pacey answered slouching down on the couch and taking in a deep breath. Gretchin felt for her little brother and as much as she knew pacey and Joey were meant to be together she was glad In some way that the never ending love triangle that was pacey Joey and Dawson had finally come to a halt. " I know its none of my business pace, but you need to know that she really did love you, you know she thought the world of you and while you were away with Doug I found out just how much she loved you" Gretchin finished already knowing that she shouldn't have said what she just said yet Gretchin had a remarkable talent of letting secrets slip. "When did she come to you Gretchin" Pacey asked but got no reply he could see from Gretchin's expression that she hadn't meant to tell him and this angered and panicked him "What happened while I was away gretchin" pacey asked in a very calm yet angered voice. Gretchin knew she had given too much away now to not tell him. "Look pace I don't want you to freak out and I am only telling you this because I love you and I wanted you to know just how much Joey wanted to be with you and that no matter what she would have stuck by you…" she trailed off she could see by Pacey's expression that he was getting really mad at being kept in the dark.

"She…..she thought she was pregnant and she came to find you and she was really upset and I told her I would get you to ring her as soon as you got back from your fishing trip with Doug, only I told her where you really was…I am so sorry pace" Gretchin finished with tears in her eyes.

"I cant believe this so not only was she scared upset and needed me and I once again failed to take care of her but I lied to her when she asked where I was and she knew I was lying, Gretchin!" Pacey shouted "You……you should have told me" Pacey screamed now crying. "I know I should Pace but she asked me not to because she didn't want to worry you and then when she found out it was a false alarm…" Pacey cut her off mid sentence "That Gretchin is completely besides the point, she needed me and you never told me, and I lied to her……. I lied and I failed to be here when she needed me most!" Pacey screamed and stormed out of the door, knocking all the groceries off the table as he went, Gretchin called after him but he kept on running.

Pacey ran up Joey's porch and banged hardly on the door "Joey are you in I need to speak to you" he shouted, Joey answered the door a little confused and scared when she saw the expression on his face and she knew he was mad and had been crying. "What's wrong pace" she asked grabbing her coat from inside and going outside as not to wake Alexander who was asleep on the couch.

"Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant? Why did you let me lie to you about where I was with Doug? Joey was silent. "Gretchin told me, she told me that you came looking for me and that you was upset and then when I called you, you let me lie to you Joe, why?" Pacey finished and took a deep breath. Joey completely in shock at Gretchen's betrayal remained quiet for a moment and then answered "It doesn't matter pace why I did it, it still wouldn't have changed anything, and it doesn't change anything, you left me pace, you left me and it is irrelevant and too painful to go down that route again". Joey finished her face frozen and blank, she refused to go down memory lane again only to drench up the past, she refused to get upset about pacey any longer he ended it and he would have to deal with it she thought to herself. "That's it…that's all you're going to say?" Pacey shouted he didnt know why he was mad at her, it was him who wasn't there for her, it was him who had once again let her down but for some reason he was mad and he refused to let It lie. "Goodbye Pace" Joey said and left him standing on the porch alone once more.

_Darius –Don't leave now lyrics_

_Don't leave now  
Not yet  
There were time we regret  
And I'm sorry  
Somehow  
I only  
Wanted to make you proud_

_If I could only let you know  
I'd give up everything I own  
For just one more day with you  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
I could not let it pass me by  
If I make every sacrifice  
To bring me back your love  
If only we could live twice  
If only we could live twice_

_When you told me  
I froze  
It still echoes  
In my soul  
Please forgive me_  
_If I didn't say  
I love you  
Every single day_

_If I could only let you know  
I'd give up everything I own  
For just one more day with you  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
I could not let it pass me by  
If I make every sacrifice  
To bring me back your love  
If only we could live twice  
If only we could live twice_

_Nobody told me we'd only get one chance  
I didn't know that our tide would turn so fast  
Why we have to say goodbye I don't understand_

_If I could only let you know  
I'd give up everything I own  
For just one more day with you  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
I could not let it pass me by  
If I make every sacrifice  
To bring me back your love  
If only we could live twice_

_I could not let it pass me by  
Nothing I give to sacrifice  
To bring me back your love  
If only we could live twice  
If only we could live twice  
We'll meet in another life  
If only we could live twice_

Joey found it hard to sleep that night she tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning, her mind was like a broken record replaying over and over again the evenings events and the look on Pacey's face cut her deep. She wanted to tell him she wanted to cry, scream and tell him that she loved him, but she had decided that If he wasn't prepared to share his feelings with her and also because there was no prospect of getting back together it was time to move on. As hard as it was it needed to be done she couldn't go to college pinning over Pacey, especially when he hadn't even hinted or shown any signs of them getting back together. That was one self-loathing and self-deprecating route she did not want to embark on. Besides she didn't want to put Pacey through it all again, she hated how she made him feel, she had tried on countless occasions to convince him that he many qualities he should be proud of, he was honourable, loyal and sweet, but instead it just him more angry at her and in her view she wasn't good for him.


	4. Broken Record

Chapter 4

Joey tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning, her mind's visions a broken record replaying over and over again the evening's events. And the look on Pacey's' face had cut her deep. She wanted to be able tell him. She wanted to cry, scream and tell him that she loved him, but she had decided that if he wasn't prepared to share his feelings with her and if there was no prospect of getting back together it was time to move on. As hard as it was this needed to be done. She couldn't go to college pining over Pacey, especially when he hadn't even hinted at any signs of them getting back together. That was one self-loathing and self-deprecating route she did not want to embark on. Besides she didn't want to put Pacey through it all again either.  
She hated how she made him feel. She just needed to stay away from him, then, if she made him feel worthless. She had tried on countless occasions to convince him that he had many qualities he should be proud of; he was honourable, loyal and sweet, but instead it just seemed to make him angrier with her.

She had stayed awake that night looking at photos of them when they had been together. She remembered his sweetness, sensitiveness and his generosity. And how she missed his smell. That warm sweet smell that only she knew, It haunted her….

How she longed to lie in his arms now, just once more his sweet smell enveloping her, enrapturing her. She would get lost in his arms, strength and security that once wrapped her in unconditional love.

"No!" she berated herself, herself and brought clenched fists to her temple in a feeble attempt at erasing the images of those moments (or was it hours?) of their break-up "Don't do this. It's over". Pacey made it very clear on that damned boat with the entire senior class as captive witnesses,that it was over. His cruel horrible words from that night still rang in her ears, and pierced her heart. The look in his eyes had sent shivers down her spine and she felt herself start to crumble. She closed her eyes and exhaled a long, soothing breath.

"Don't do this" she whispered again, attempting to give herself comfort… She allowed a tear to fall. But only one. She lay back on her bed, her sadness and exhaustion gently – and finally - giving in to the whispers of the night.

"This is his chance to be happy'.

**_The next day down by the docks_**

"Well bro, can't believe you made it" Gretchen teased and poked Pacey in the ribs.

"Thank you Gretchen. As always you are the ever supportive proud older sister", Pacey mumbled. It had been a month since Gretchen had told him that she had kept Joey's pregnancy scare from him. And even though she had apologised profusely he still hadn't completely forgiven her.

"So then little bro, what are you going to do with that piece of paper now?" she asked taking the certificate from him and inspecting it.

"Well I was thinking of laminating it and then putting it in a frame", Pacey teased dancing around her trying ever unsuccessfully to retrieve his certificate. Damn, she's quick on her feet!

"Pacey, come on you only have two weeks before college starts. You cant just…"

Pacey stopped in his place interrupting her, his brow furrowed and his shoulders tightened "Gretch! Please! Me at college?" Pacey pointed to the diploma in her hands, shook his head and laughed quietly.

"I don't think so. For one, regardless that I now have this ever so cheap looking certificate, no college is going to want me and, besides I'm not made for college. Could you imagine me wearing baggy pants, sporting a Red Sox cap, and getting wasted at frat parties?"

Gretchen laughed at the very thought of it. "You know you're in the 21st century right?". She stepped close and placed both hands on his shoulders. She shook him playfully before she released him.

Pacey laughed 'Ok, Ok. Fair point. But what the hell would I study? And er…..besides I was kinda thinking that I might take the Dean up on his offer". Pacey finished quietly knowing exactly what was coming next.

"What!" Gretchen spoke out in disbelief. "Pacey you cant do that! You worked your ass off all summer for that piece of paper and now you are just gonna throw it all away? For what? To go sailing? Pace you can always go sailing. You've gone sailing! You cant always go to college, and even if you don't want to go to college there are other good jobs out there that are now within your reach because of that diploma". She searched his eyes to make her point. But Pacey avoided her gaze. He But Pacey would hear none of it.

"Gretch! Will you get off my case? Please Jesus! I don't know what I want right now, and I don't want to rush into anything. I need to figure out what I want and when I do it will be my decision!"

Gretchen was not deterred ."All I am saying is the clock is ticking. Time is no man's friend. And I know you're thinking that you're not ready to go to college because when you do go you want there to be hope for yourself, for your future, for you and J-." She stopped short, lowered her eyes, then continued. "Well, just to prove to yourself that you can do this…...". Gretchen trailed off and placed an arm lovingly around Pacey's shoulder. She lowered her voice and offered. "She already believes in you, Pacey. And you still don't feel good enough for her. Well, why don't you let that be HER decision?" Gretchen saw the pained expression on her younger brother's face. How she wished she could fix this for him, wave a magic wand and give him the answers he so desperately searched for. She moved close to him and held him tight. "I'm not going to give you the answers, Pace. You've just got to ask yourself the right questions."

"I miss you" Dawson whispered down the phone and waited for Joey's response.

" I miss you too" Joey replied stifling a yawn. "But it's late and at the moment I kinda miss my bed" she teased.

"No Jo, I mean I really _miss_ you" Dawson emphasised. He breathed uneasily, knowing that he shouldn't have said anything. But he was tired of missing out at the last minute. He wanted to let her know now, in advance. He had to, he thought to himself. He owed it to himself.

Joey was silent for a moment. She didn't know how to respond to this.

Did he mean what she thought he meant?

"Not now" she thought to herself. She pursed her lips in annoyance and sighed to herself. He really did have bad timing. She cleared her throat and said casually "Thanks, Dawson. I miss you too, I can't wait to see you. When are you back?"

Dawson knew what she was doing;- she always did this. This word-play of avoidance. But he wasn't going to wait around any longer, he couldn't risk it, he knew they were meant to be together and he had to get it off his chest. He had to get the girl this time he thought to himself.

"Joey, I know you are cleverly avoiding the issue at hand here and I think it is vital that we discuss this. We go to college in just over two weeks and we need to clarify, confirm, or dismiss what we have going on here." He stopped just then, kicking himself. He may have been too forward. He knew she hated spontaneous, irrational declarations of love; she hated being put on the spot. Joey liked to consider all the options and possibilities first and then obsesses about them before making any decisions. Whereas Dawson, a pure romantic, wore his heart on his sleeve, which is why it regularly became torn. He jumped in headfirst and Joey's sensibility frustrated him.

"Dawson I seriously do not want to discuss this over the phone, with you, and I think by you asking me to you are being completely selfish and insensitive" Joey vented her temper now fatigue giving way to an impatient, rising temper.

"Ok, Ok Jo. I'm sorry I just felt it necessary to tell you my feelings now rather than wait till the day we leave for college. We keep missing out Jo, and I know that now is our time. It's our chance to be happy and I didn't want to regret not telling you". Dawson sighed. How he longed to be there with her, to see her expression, to see if it matched his. He hated her having been with Pacey. The thought of them together literally made him sick. But as he had told her in the beginning Pacey would hurt her and he had. It was just something she needed to experience, get off her chest Dawson used to tell himself. He knew it was him that she was meant to be with. They were true soulmates. They had history. They knew each other inside out. And this time, this time there was no-one standing in the way of their happiness. This time they would be happy, he reassured himself. Sure it would be difficult at first with them both at colleges. But he was determined to make it work. It had to work this time. He and Joey being together were the only thing that made sense to him. So it had to work, right?

"Dawson, while I appreciate your honesty. I have had a lot going on this summer while you have been away. You can't expect to swoop back into my life just because you're feeling homesick. We will discuss this when you get back, not now. It's late and I am tired" Joey copped out. She had too much to think about at the moment and she wasn't prepared to dredge up past emotions and history just because Dawson had a sudden change of heart and was feeling lonely. She didn't know how she felt about Dawson anymore. She did a year ago, but now?

Her head throbbed, and her chest felt tight. She hated Dawson doing this. Dawson always made their relationship so complicated and intense. She needed time to think. "Goodnight Dawson, take care of yourself". She sighed and lay back on her bed, her eyes slowly closing.

"Goodnight Joey", Dawson replied to his handset, and lay for a while listening to the sounds of Joey gently snoring.

_Mariah Carey-Mine Again_

_I remember when you used to be mine  
Way back when  
I was too naive to love you right  
But now if I only had the opportunity  
I would do anything  
Because my heart still believes _

Maybe you could be mine again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Maybe we could bring it back to life

It's irrelevant to dwell on the past  
I'm accountable for what went bad  
And I mean that  
But I keep on praying for another chance  
Just to have you back  
Cause I've grown  
And I know how to be your everything

Maybe you could be mind again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Maybe we could bring it back to life

No, no it ain't over yet  
I just can't accept the possibility  
We weren't made for each other's arms  
I know you're my destiny  
We can't erase what was meant to be  
Part of you and part of me  
If we try one more time  
Maybe somehow we'll survive

Maybe you could be mine again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Boy maybe we could bring it back  
Maybe we could bring it back  
Maybe we could bring it back to...  
Life  
Maybe you could be mine


End file.
